I saw a blog post today that frankly, really upset me. Something I haven’t shared before (I think) is that before I married my little narcissist, I was married to an abusive addict. (Lesson learned, there won’t be a third.)
In this blog, about how to love a husband well, the advice was superficial and should have been given with a disclaimer.
Have you ever noticed how everyone is an expert because they get one thing right (or seem to)? Or get something figured out for them and then want everyone to do it their way?
The piece of advice that really bothered me – “Ask your husband what it means to respect?” That could have gotten me killed in my last married.
When I nicely commented on the blog, it wouldn’t post. I didn’t (can’t) use a real email for safety reasons. I was already planning on blogging myself about that, so here I am a little sooner.
In my current marriage, when I would try to seek help from friends, I heard, “You need to submit more.” Or, “You’re not submitting enough.”
I will not submit to sin.
If I had been a Christian and gotten that advice with my ex-husband, well, I might not be around today.
I love Abigail (in the Bible). She’s my hero. She did what was right in God’s eyes and He rewarded her for it.
I don’t think she was disrespectful to Nabal. And clearly, she submitted to Nabal. But she knew her God and she put Him first.
So, what advice should that blogger have given? Maybe not have given any at all? Maybe had a disclaimer that this advice is based solely on her experience? Maybe tell people to seek professional advice?
We have to be careful when we dole out advice. I find I’m more and more of recluse these day because I don’t want to hear it anymore. I’m depressed enough.
Is it all bad? Of course not. Is it right? Nope, not at all.
If you’re a blogger, please consider your audience when you blog. You never know what scars you’re opening up.
God bless!
Surviving the Narcissist 